Blossoming the bloom
Tickle me with sweet cherry blossom, I have found my mojo; My something, my niche, my “I totally love doing this!” moment. Believe me, over the last few weeks I was losing direction, losing faith in my ability and most importantly, the belief in myself.
Who here is starting out in small business that has these WTF moments, surely it can’t just be me?
Well, I finally made the conscious decision that I was going to give it my 100% best with this new business venture. Now, I was never under the illusion that it would be easy or that it would just take off on its own (buy hey, one can always hope).
Anyway after many hours of hard (and often free) work and seemingly making no headway, the thought of having to go back to 9-5 work was becoming a more realistic (not to mention terrifying) option. You see, my creative self gets itchy feet and needs to dance from my fingers spontaneously throughout the day in order to keep me sane.
The past few weeks I have been floored with a dreadful head cold which has given me little creative time, but plenty of thinking time and as someone who suffers from anxiety, time to think is not necessarily a good thing. All the additional thinking time with very little doing going on, the only thing that I managed to create was doubt.
The questions and doubts running on repeat through my mind, in summation were: “Who the hell do you think you are playing at this game where you have no real idea or experience or talent - and if you don’t start making a buck soon, you are going to have to pull up your ‘grown up girl’ socks and get a “real” job! Yep folks, somedays it’s just one f**ked up, merry-go-round of crazy up in side this creative mind! But hey, this story does have a happy ending (refer to first paragraph)! I gave up. Listening to the negativity and doubt that is - sometimes quitting is the only option!
As soon I could stand the pressure to sit up and lift my weary cold-affected head, the creative part of my brain started to wake up. I pulled out the MAC and started going through the thousands of images I have in my ‘Art’ folder and found some beautiful flower photos I took on a recent adventure with the kids to the botanical gardens (more on this in my next blog) and the beauty of these images coupled with the memories of that day helped to get my mind back on track.
Queue inspiration and a new body of work* and a new-found excitement! I just want to remind myself (and those on this journey with me) that yes, there will be hurdles and most likely they will sprout from my own self-doubt, however I need to find more balance and focus on creating work that is authentically me and it may not be liked by all, but that’s ok because it is an impression that I will have left on the world and it only really matters if it is truly, honestly, me.
I look forward to revealing what I have been up to when the time is right however for now, check out the images below of the stunning blooms we managed to capture on our little adventure.
Plus an exciting venture with Green Cathedral, can’t wait!